give myself a chance

i've been talking to a lot people lately and they gave me an advice: let go of my feelings towards that person and give myself a chance to fall in love again. but how can i do that? the only person i have loved and paid attention with was this guy whom i had emotional investment for the past eight years. i don't know how to love someone else. it seems that i've already forgotten that feeling. whenever i like someone else, i always keep in mind that i like his guy and i'll be reserved for him until he realizes how much i love him. but i'm afraid that that won't happen. he's too far from me and i don't know what would happen between those times that he's not here and the times that he was there, living his life. it seems that life is so unfair to me. i've been praying for him for a very long time, and yet, it seems that my prayers and still unanswered. he didn't even cosidered me as his friend. what is wrong with me? i know i'm easy to get along with other people and i could win as many friends as i can. but the only problem is that he's the only person i can't win for myself. what am i gonna do? he's one of the few people whom i get my strength and will to take the challenges of the training, and even though he doesn't know it, it somehow helped me a lot. i want to be successful and deserving for his attention when he comes back. i may not be an ideal girl; i'm clumsy, not that smart in troubleshooting, i'm accident-prone and a certified walking disaster of the batch, but i'm trying my best to be deserving for him. i hope he'll realize it before it's too late...