insensitive

i've been trying to learn the art of being insensitive for the past weeks of my life. i don't know... maybe it's the best i can do as of right now. i mean i'd rather learn how to feel numb and have that "deadma" attitude than to have myself tortured by this stupid feeling i have within me. it's me to be blamed again for this another stupid mistake, i should have know from the start that there has to be certain boundary between friendship and beyond that.

it's about time to start anew. i should know better. it's not that i'm blaiming that person why i'm feeling this way. it's just that it was always i'm the one to blame for this emotional torture i'm going thru. that person is quite wonderful in his own way. it's just that i'm too stupid to have this felings grow within me. i know i'll be fine. my friends will help me cope up with this stupid "dilemna" i'm currently experiencing. you know the feeling that you're ugly and worthless because that person doesnt even cared to take a look at you. i now it's crazy, i need to deal with it. stupid me!